The Perfect Mother

When I was younger I couldn't wait to be a Mom...It was just around the corner in my mind. I would always think of names for my future children and go over in my head whether I wanted a boy or girl first. As I aged and learned more about mother from my own mother and the older women around me, I accepted that motherhood had its challenges and that I shouldn't take it lightly. That it was an exciting, rewarding role in life, but also quite tough. But I still held on to the ideal of being the "perfect mom". I believed it could be done and for all those who fell short, in my mind they just weren't trying hard enough. And for the women that complained during pregnancy, I thought they weren't enjoying the blessing they had been given enough. I would be the perfect mother - quietly and serenely live through pregnancy, then without effort I would take on the role of mother without a blink of my eye. I knew I would always be in control, always know how to handle situations, always know the best thing to feed my child and only feed them the best. I was set...right?

After years of trying we got pregnant and I could not have been happier. I had finally been blessed. Time to start being the perfect mother. But I couldn't stop vomiting and I couldn't eat a thing. Well, darn it, I would just have to work past it to eat all the proper nutrients for my growing child. Oh but my goodness, I couldn't. And the doctors worried about my nutrient levels as I lost more and more weight over the first 3-4 months. Finally, I was able to eat again. And I said to myself that I was going to gain the proper amount of weight and eat all the right things. But those cravings. My goodness, I couldn't get enough Taco Bell or Slim Jim sticks. That milkshake was just too necessary for me to live. There was even a moment that I couldn't find a jar of pickles and I almost cried. To put that in perspective, I don't even much like pickles!!!

I survived pregnancy, not the best survival, but I made it. I was sad because I ended up gaining way more than I wanted to and I had ate so many wrong foods. But here I was about to have my child. I would make up for it all by being the best mother after their birth.

And there was my son - perfect, beautiful, angelic, and a miracle - and I was literally frightened of him. I was totally in love with this child, but utterly afraid of all that lay ahead of me being his mother.

In the past two years I can not even count the number of times I have made mistakes. I have zero idea how many times I didn't know what to do in so many various situations. I did not make it the full year or more with breastfeeding and I have allowed him to eat tons of "bad" foods. And I feel quite out of control with that parenting thing on a regular basis. That is Motherhood. That is what they never tell you about and even if they did you wouldn't believe them.

The point I am trying to make, and there is one, is that the idea of a "perfect mom" is an absolute fairy tale. Put it right up there with Cinderella and Rapunzel. There is not a soul in this world that is ever going to be perfect as a parent. We must all remember to cut ourselves slack with this whole idea of being mother. We must remember we are human and mistakes are made. We must remember our differences as Mothers are what make us unique, and wonderful, and what makes the world exciting. And thank goodness we aren't perfect, because I guarantee childhood for each of our kids would be quite boring if we were...

Hi MOPS Moms!!!

Welcome to summer in the Walla Walla Valley! The excitement of warm air, bright sunny days, and seemingly endless hours of the day has returned. As we move through summer we can feel a constant reminder from above of all the glorious things about the planet on which we live. As we feast on fresh vegetables and fruits taken from our backyard gardens, the farmer’s market, or a local store, we can be reminded of the glorious way God feeds our soul with the proper nourishment it needs. I see each day of summer as a way to reconnect with my Lord and to know he has given me this life to enjoy. We have a beautiful rest of the summer ahead of us, so let’s relish the wonder of it all and feel the love sent from our Lord and Savior!!!

I will go before you and make the crooked places straight.

Isaiah 45:2

We have all chosen different paths in our lives. Sometimes we know from the very moment we set foot on that path it was the best choice. Sometimes we aren’t as sure of ourselves. To all my friends within our MOPS family, I say choose the path you know is right for you, whether you are fearful of what may be or whether you are just not sure how you will succeed – God is here for each and everyone of us and with his love and guidance, the path is never as difficult as we thought.